Ohhhh, I have a new crush. It’s classy, it’s functional, it has secret-agent charm. It’s the Spiral Cellar.  Yes, a gorgeously designed wine cellar that is sunk into your existing ground floor and topped off with a trap door. A trap door, guys! (There are even glass ones with motorized opening mechanisms.) Now, I’m not a homeowner, but if ever there were a reason to buy a house, this is it. Actually, I wonder if i could just buy a little tiny plot of land in a field somewhere by a pretty little picnic spot and have a cellar built below it. I’ll mark the spot with a volcanic rock, a la Shawshank, and no one but I will ever know the treasures that sleep below. Of course, I’d have to leave a little corner of the cellar for curing salumi… and aging cheese… and there needs to be a little chocolate compartment, too.

I know that you don’t like clicking links, so I’ll provide some photos. You need to understand the full impact of this awesomeness. Look at me, I’m so excited that my sentences are getting bad.

Is that a leg of swine I see hanging there?

Yummmm

Magnificent. The cellars are not temperature controlled, so placement in your house (or grassy picnic field) is very important. They recommend installing on the northern side of your property. In my current abode, that would mean having a Spiral Cellar in my bedroom. And that, I do believe, I could live with.

You know what that means! It’s time to pick out a couple of feasting outfits for my lovely ladies. This was a hard one because the fall 09 runways were overrun with glam pieces and neutrals and glam neutrals. Glamorous is wonderful, and fitting for les vins, but it’s really hard to stuff oneself full of stuffing in white silk (or feathers), and my wines do love themselves some stuffing. There was also an awful lot of fur, but I’m not sure how grapes feel about animal rights. Luckily, Prada was in an appropriately classic fall-ish spirit. Here’s one for Petite:

Photo by Marcio Madeira

Structured, but playful and a little bit sassy. Of course, she’ll have to remember to wear her jacket.  Red wine shouldn’t be chilled below 50 or 55 degrees, you know. Also, let’s try to ignore the scary thing they’ve done to Ymre Stiekema’s lovely face here. As for Syrah, we’ll go with an earthy, spicy jumpsuit from Haider Ackermann:

Photo by Marcio Madeira

Looks ready to take off in a pimped-out propeller plane, doesn’t she? It’s just perfect, since Syrah is really soaring with flavor right now.

Now that the wines have clothes, all that’s left is to dress the turkey.

This comes up all the time when I tell people that I’ve made my own wine.  It usually goes something like this:

“You make your own wine?!”

“Yup. We sorted the grapes, and crushed them…”

“Did you use your feet?!”

“Sadly, no.”

“Oh.”

“But we did press them, which was super cool…”

“Do they still do that? I mean, with feet? Isn’t it kind of gross to have your feet in there?”

And then we all come up with our own theories on feet-squished grapes and reminisce about I Love Lucy. It’s about time, I think, to answer this question once and for all. But first, a note: We actually didn’t need to crush our grapes very much at all. Usually, you send the fruit through a sorting process to make sure there aren’t any large twigs or lizards mixed in. Then it gets swirled through the destemmer, one of the coolest machines, and lands in a big fermenting vat.

You can then dump that vat of fruit into the crusher, which exposes the seeds, affecting the level of tannin in the wine. (Tannins, remember, live in the skins and seeds, so your whole berry-to-crushed berry percentage is important for regulating those tannins.) But if your grapes, like mine, were so ripe and juicy that the trip through the destemmer and their own weight in that vat is enough to squish the juice out, leaving the perfect ratio of whole-to-squished grapes, no crushing is necessary aside from a little manual whacking with a stick. So no worries; no bare feet were utilized in the making of Je Suis Syrah and  Petite Sirah.

But, the answer is, yes. Some people do still crush with their feet, and some don’t even do it solely for tourists. In particular, some Porto crafters in northern Portugal still practice this old-fashioned technique. Supposedly, hiking around in the mash is gentler than any machine, a way to extract flavor without exposing too much bitterness. I don’t know about that, but wouldn’t you give it a shot if you had a chance? It’s probably incredible for your skin, too. And for all you germophobes,  here the Cellarist mentions doing a pedi-crush, including a thorough sanitizing of the footsies.

Until I have the chance to crush by foot, I guess I’ll appease myself with watching the Lucy video. I just love the way she saunters into the scene, munching grapes like a glamorpuss. That I can do anywhere, bare feet or otherwise.

It’s trivia time.

Q: Which state’s motto is Agriculture and Commerce? [State mottoes are funny.]

Q: Whose state bird is the mockingbird?

Q: What is/was the home of the largest underground lake and largest earthquake in the USA?

Q: Where can Je Suis Wine now ship directly?

A: Tennessee

That’s right, direct to consumer shipping has opened up for TN. It’s an exciting moment over here, as we think that Je Suis Wine pairs perfectly with the blues. Order away, Tennesseans!

The auction is open. Let’s start it off strong! Bid here.

Did I mention that tax and shipping are included in the offer? That means the winner gets all the feel-good fuzzies of supporting a great cause plus a bottle of the world’s best wine delivered right to their doorstep for FREE.

(Please do note the shipping restrictions at the bottom of the listing. Wish ’twere not the case, but we can’t send bottles to everyone.)

Drinking wine is now even better for your health! I’ve donated a bottle of Je Suis Syrah to this very cool charity auction to benefit the Bowdoin Street Health Center in Boston. The center was built to provide affordable health care services to the widely diverse Dorchester population. Funds raised at auction will go towards the purchase of an ultrasound machine, enabling pregnant women to have ultrasounds right in their own community, without schlepping.

The auction opens on November 2 and closes on November 9. Here’s a chance to do some good while you drink some wine. Get bidding!

I just looked up at my calendar to realize that next week is November. I find this shocking. September flowed slow as molasses but you, October. Where’d ya go? Not that it’s a bad thing. Indeed, November, as we all know, is just a different way of saying “Thanksgiving month,” which is another way of saying, “Let’s spend four weeks thinking about good food.” So post-Halloween party, I shall be ready for November. Will you? Make sure, by checking the Je Suis Wine holiday shipping schedule:

If you would like your wine to arrive in time for Thanksgiving, please order by:

• November 16 for ground shipping
• November 20 for two-day shipping
• November 22 for overnight shipping

If you would like your wine to arrive in time for Christmas, please order by:

• December 15 for ground shipping
• December 19 for two-day shipping
• December 21 for overnight shipping

Please note that orders to AZ and MA will take longer. I suggest ordering ASAP for Thanksgiving (like today). I’ll let you know when I get word of Christmas/Chanukah order-by dates for those states.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses: / Out of a misty dream / Our path emerges for a while, then closes / Within a dream. – Ernest Dowson

Morcom Rose Garden

I went for a walk yesterday with some friends, and we came unexpectedly across the beautiful Morcom Rose Garden. There were hundreds of varieties, from dusty pink to deep crimson to papaya-flesh orange. I don’t mind that they’re probably the world’s most popular flower; I adore roses. Maybe it’s because I was born on Valentine’s Day, but seeing a perfect rose makes me feel the way some people feel about little newborn puppies. I cup the blossoms in both hands and brush the silken petals against my face and breathe in the warm scent. I was doing just that, again and again, at the rose garden, when it occurred to me that aside from being a wonderful way to pass the afternoon, stopping to smell 100 different roses is great sensory practice and training for wine tasting!

Just like wines, every rose has a different fragrance, and it’s great fun to try to identify the smell. Among our olfactory finds yesterday: lemon pine-sol, peach tea, juicy orange, spicy chutney. Scent is one of our strongest memory conjurers, but it is possible to strengthen your scent memory  even more with practice. Sniff a rose and figure out what that smell reminds you of. You’ve just fired up the same synapses that will help you identify notes of who-knows-what in a glass of wine. Another great way to train your nose is smell each one of the spices in your kitchen, taking the time to familiarize yourself with each one: the way it makes you feel, the memories it brings up. Then, the next time you smell cinnamon or black pepper in your wine, a more vivid picture will pop up in your mind and you’ll be able to better describe what you’ve just gotten a whiff of. You may even experience the memory before you identify the scent-stimulus as cinnamon!

I shall now bookend with another quotation.

Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes Erroneously. Moses he knowses his toeses aren’t roses. As Moses supposes his toeses to be. – You should know where this comes from

The holiday gifts packs are ready and I am very excited. For just $50, you get a bottle of Je Suis Petite Sirah with a box of varietal chocolates from one of my very favorite San Francisco chocolatiers, Recchiuti Confections. It’s edible perfection. The chocolate alone retails for $11, so this is a great deal on an elegant and exceptionally delicious set. Perfect for wine-lovers, chocolate-lovers, corporate clients, anyone you think deserves a spectacular gift this year (including yourself).

FYI, I served Recchiuti truffles at my wedding in place of a cake, if that’s any indication of how awesome they are. The box in the gift set includes chocolates made with beans from Madagascar, Venezuela, Colombia and Ecuador all blended into Michael Recchiuti’s famously swoon-inducing ganache. Cacao is just like grapes and coffee in that the place of origin endows the chocolate with unique flavor characteristics. Take the time to taste them thoughtfully and note the differences. I usually like myself a good Madagscar for it’s caramely, burnt-raisiny smoothness.

So go buy yourself a few gift sets. Here’s my teaser in case you don’t feel like clicking through just yet: What’s better than a bottle of world-class wine? A bottle of world-class wine with a box of world-class chocolates! Presenting the holiday gift set to end all holiday gift sets: Je Suis Petite Sirah and a box of exceptional varietal chocolates from Recchiuti Confections, all wrapped up in one elegant package. It’s edible perfection. Send a set to everyone on your gift list, and don’t forget to order one for yourself, too. You deserve it. Now you should click through anyway.

photo courtesy recchiuti.com

Back in March, I picked out a suitable gown for Je Suis Syrah to wear to her red carpet premier, but I never chose one for Petite! So here’s a number from the Carolina Herrera spring 2010 collection that I think is fitting: bold color, rich texture, a classic with flare (actually, flair, too).

I don’t think there’s enough crossover between wine and fashion. Maybe it’s because of the stains. Anyway, I shall continue to pick out outfits for the Je Suis models as the seasons progress. Not only will it be super fun for me to pretend it’s my job to browse beautiful clothing, but I think you might also find it useful to think of wine characteristics in a different, more visual and very well-dressed way. After all, doesn’t purple silk resonate a little better than subtle notes of dried huckleberry and toasted cumin? Let’s see how it goes.